Fighting the Cynic

I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but I'm a pretty cynical person. For the longest time, I called myself a closet romantic because even though I read romances, I wasn't sure that I believed in the love I read about. I'm sure college had a lot to do with that (when all else fails, blame everything on college!).

However, I do believe in love. I believe that there is someone out there meant just for me (yeah, I'm single. meh) and that when I finally find him, we'll be together forever. I'm a child of divorce and remarriage. I grew up with two homes although I only counted one of them as 'home'. I saw the bad side of marriage, but I also saw the good side. Unfortunately, the bad side seems more prevalent than the good, so sometimes I have to remind myself that love does exist.

Reading (and now writing) romance gives me a way to explore how powerful love really is. As a history major, love has been used as the cause for everything from war to torture to historical monuments to sacrifice. It is, I believe, at the root of all our lives whether we believe in the happily-ever-after or not. That's what romance books are about. It's learning about this fickle, overwhelming emotion and what causes reasonably sane people to do crazy things.

So yes, sometimes (especially after reading or watching the news or hearing about the new woman my uncle found online) I am the cynic, curling my lip at the idea of love and romance, but the romantic always wins out.

I think I might be able to get back to my work-in-progress now. I feel like I've got the muddle out of my head.